i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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