We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if only i could text you this smell
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
