That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
