I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's never too late to be topless.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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