He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
