you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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