the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
