i was born a porn star she said
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
