how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
