No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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