im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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