Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
