census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
nutella sex= disaster
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
