Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
pray to the hookup gods
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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