erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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