if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
