People in love make me want to vomit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
