You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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