one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
