she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize