When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
