No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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