No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
