i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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