I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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