this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize