I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
