so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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