fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
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Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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