I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
