areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He? As in you personified your dick?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
