You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
