so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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