you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The Olympian is in my bed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
