it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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