Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
