Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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