so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
