No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
