Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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