Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i barfeds in our rink
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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