we're blogging at a bar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
