We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize