if you like me you must not know who I am
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
