I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
