That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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