We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
