can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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