i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
