forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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