Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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