Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
