I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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