He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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