sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
