Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
