I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
