Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
