Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
