Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it because I queefed?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
