Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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