do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
