I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
