Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
