When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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