If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
